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Understand Her Mind And The Body Will Follow!

Posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 in Attraction

Break ups are devastating experiences, especially if you are still in love with your ex. The situation becomes worse if your ex does not answer your phone calls. Breaking up can really be painful and tough, especially if we do not learn how to deal with it effectively. So follow the guide below to get you on the right track to get a woman back. I am going to enter into a discussion about the psychology of attraction and how you can use that to your advantage to get your ex back if you understand how this stuff really works.

 

Let me give you an example. Different people meet their partners in different places, so it is almost impossible to cater for every scenario here. But let’s consider one and from that you can no doubt extrapolate other examples in your own head. Let’s say for the sake of argument that you met your ex girlfriend in a club. There she was standing against the wall chatting to her friends. You liked the look of her and so decided to go up to her and say hi. Let the games begin! There are already psychological trigger points being pushed in her head before you have even said a word that are winning her back to you. Remember, you are in a crowded club. There are lots of guys milling about, but you were the one who chose to come and talk to her. The one who had the gumption to say hi. Immediately you are impressing on her subconscious that you are a pack leader.

These days if a woman rejects you the worst that generally happens is a polite refusal, and you slink back to your friends to make up some story about how she was actually a lesbian. But it doesn’t feel like that before you do it. Your heart is pounding, and part of you even now wants to get your girlfriend back simply so that you don’t have to go through that again! Before you approach a woman it generally feels like your guts are being ripped out, and that there is a very real risk of total social exclusion and pariah status if she turns you down. On the converse side, women are also creatures of their biology. In the past they knew that it was a big deal for a guy to approach them, because if he got it wrong, then she could feasibly turn him down and mess up his status within the very small tribal unit.   A few thousand years on she knows logically that that isn’t the case, and that turning a guy down isn’t even going to ruin his night, let alone his life. But nevertheless on a subconscious level she knows it is a big deal.

Now, where this is all leading to is the fact that your status with your ex is still very much dependent on your social status as she perceives it, and whether or not she thinks of you as a pack leader.  Now, of course, all of this communication is on the subconscious level. She isn’t going to come out and say any of that, or even think it. And most women would deny what I am saying is true. But the reality is that women are hard wired to be more attracted to dominant, assertive guys. You aren’t literally going to bash her on the head, tell her that you are her tribal leader, and that you are whisking her off back to your cave. (Sounds fantastic! I wish it worked!) But what you are going to need to do is to re-connect with the primitive attraction part of her that you triggered all those moons ago when you first went out.

Once you know that fact then it makes it that much easier to figure out strategies to reconnect with your ex. It becomes clearer why you can’t act like a wuss, or phone her ten times a day. None of those actions are the actions of a leader and it is time that you stepped up to the plate and demonstrated who you really are. A good first step is actually to minimise contact with your ex-girlfriend. This might seem counter-intuitive (especially as you want to get back with her!) But what you need to realise is that if you are too available to her now that you have broken up, that there is a very real risk of slipping into the dreaded ‘friends zone’ where she unburdens all the crap and grief about her life onto your shoulders, but you don’t get any of the payoff in terms of love energy! Forget that. You want the good stuff.  If you cut yourself off from her then you have every opportunity of moving things forward more quickly.

Understand Her Mind And The Body Will Follow!

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